new semester

many people ask me..
"why dun go and get a girlfriend?? "

my answer: i cant exactly know i will really love the girl or not..and y i still go and chase a gal?

for me..i will defense against anything that come into my life just because i scare i might get hurt again..

i am not affordable to lose anything from what i currently have..so what for i expect something more than my life? isn't it?

that is my conclusion for my life recently..

i want money

i want good result

i want good job

i want luxury life

i want high salary

i want secure my future

i want to have better future life

those are things that i want now~

i dun know about future..

but for me..now..that is what i want~

my heart is dead

recent post

this few day start to free a bit already

coming to the end of year2 sem1, i learn a lot

i learnt how to look people,

i learnt people doesn't treat you well for no reason,

i learnt the black side of people,

i learnt how others manipulate you by showing their fake-ness towards you,

seriously, it is alot.

the longer u knew someone, the more u will feel how they used their fake-ness to manipulate you

Looking people around me, i always think of why those people like to do so?

they think it is fun? or god send them to make our life more "interesting"?

but anyway, i am not getting involve in it.

time files

i grows as well

i know what i want in the future

i know little improvement or hardship might change my whole life

i had been made so many decision before come to this stage

but there are "something" that i will not get involve in it again

process of life changes people

hardship makes people clear about path to goal

i know where i should go and i am going to it

cheers~~

freaking bad mood

final exam

seriously i fed up in this final exam
i have no idea i will done it with such a unconfident feel and without some subject can score
i am so wonder is it utar level too high o i am jz toooo stupid to flow art stream subject
i never study so hard before for a exam before..even spm o foundation
really fed up..
hope i dun fail any of my subject..haiz...
i remember before exam something happen on me..
i burst out with her..i have no idea wat she is thinking
i have no idea y she wan treat me like tat..
i have no idea wat actually happen to us even i cant jz ask her how are u..
i dun noe is it we have some misunderstanding o whatevesoever
i truely wish u to be happy and...
anyway..i still hope we can be normal friend..just a normal friend with normal chatting normal talking normal msn..i won over than tat..but if u dun wan..i won force u as well..
just take care and do well in whatever u do..
cheers..

我讨厌这样的感觉

不知道为什么今天真的很伤感

很伤心

你真的要用这样的方式对我吗？

我真的很伤心。。你知道吗？

我还能为你做些什么？

真的很down 咯。。。

最近每天晚上都抱着伤心。。失落的感觉入睡。。

这种感觉真的好痛苦。。每天要面对自己不喜欢的东西。。每天在学校当小丑。。别人以为很开心。。可是他们有没有考虑你的感受。。好落魄。。

头脑每天想不该想的东西。。

要考试了。。还是没心情读书。。

有谁可以帮我？

难道我的人生就这么的辛苦？？

我真的很累了。。

能不能让我过好一点的生活？？

心累了。。真的真的累了。。。。

累了。。。。。。。。

hometown

tmr going back kampar study le...
haiz...
everything keep changing
as i growing up..i find many thing is out of my control..out of control of keep changing..
until i cant accept the changing..
until i shock of the changing..
but i noe..
i am also changing..